her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
