I can feel you judging me through the phone.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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