Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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