I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize