Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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