And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
