Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
