No awkward lesbian experiences without me
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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