he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
