my mouth tastes like poor choices
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
