Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
