hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
we should paint friendship bongs
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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