Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
