chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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