there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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