I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This is my gift to your gina
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize