Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
