I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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