The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
