We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
