I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
