after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize