so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
