my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
tell me about the eggs
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
