then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
