its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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