Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
