Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize