Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
