I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
