Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
