he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
