and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
