I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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