I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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