I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
