I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
