do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
