do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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