he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize