I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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