I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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