the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
