Pants 0. Shit 1.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
