Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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