I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
