May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
where am i from again
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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