Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize