so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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