At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Who died my cat blue again?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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