I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
