Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
