just tell him i said nine months
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
