I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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