I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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