"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
