he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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