I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
